hey, it's jade,
and this is
open lair night!

(Open lair night at the evil secret lair!)

last updated oct. 20, 2020 ad

can't believe someone's actually here! welcome, astute visitor!

i also cannot believe i managed to make a carrd

it's a very evil carrd, i assure you

about and things


  • current magnastudiums (cool word i made up for a hyperfixation/special interest, directly meaning "great devotion" or "great study"):

  • villainy, of a certain variety

  • words, tropes, and euphemisms/idioms/wordplay


nov. 23

high school

oh look ,things!

anxiety is a thing. that i have. it probably won't come up too often as it's mostly managable but boy sometimes it isn't (especially irl!)

probably not neurotypical(?), we're working on getting me evaluated
(by we i mean my people)
(actually just me, my parents, and my psychiatrist but still)
basically for now I'm "unconfirmed neurodiverse-coded villain" i guess

gender is an enigma

okay i made myself a microlabel because i can't word things right without it so it's written in shambles because i can write great fiction but defining labels is
h a r d .

Microvoid (sounds a little close to microwave lol) - A gender in which one is mostly a gender of some sort, and feels just enough lack of gender for it to be noticeable, but not enough for them to use different terminology for themself in general, and potentially not even enough to come out to others as such due to the small amount of lacking gender. Usually an adjective to add to other genders. (I would describe myself as a microvoid transgender male, in this case. Gendered nonbinary people would definitely be able to use microvoid as long as their gender of higher connection was, well, a gender.)
also, microvoid could also work as describing one's gender as... kinda, from the void but not there anymore. this comes from my original concept for describing my gender, "boy from the void," so a microvoid type might describe themself as a "x from the void." if desired. y'know. fun times!
ALSO a microvoid might want to just. present and be referred to as whatever theyre applying the adjective to. m'kay, that's all.
[man, making labels is effort-using.]

On occasions, i make things, on others, i do things

i write, play melodica, draw, and in general do things. i'd link stuff but i'm feeling like i don't want to right now.
i also play lots of video games and consume media.

i am almost always down to share my writing and/or art but usually i'll either approach you or you'll have to approach me...
i love feedback but my worst fear is plagarism

  • villainy (duh)

  • ai dungeon

  • STARBOUND!!! someone please talk about this with me i love the races in this game,,, and the world,,, yeah,,,

  • cartoons

  • writing (poetry, fiction)

  • nintendo

  • will wood (and the tapeworms)

  • lemon demon/neil cicierega

  • fantasy

  • sci-fi

  • new wave

  • synthpop

  • alt/indie rock/pop

  • tvtropes.org

  • reading


did you expect me to have a villainous carrd without a schemes section? you'd be a... well, not a fool, i'd be mean to call you a fool, but you really should've expected the schemes section.

  • oh wow my scheme inspiration is l o w

  • help

  • i need more schemes

  • aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

secret lair's secret lair

oh wow you found it!!!
you should feel a feeling over this, perhaps?
it doesn't matter which.
then again, i will also permit feeling nothing about this.
uhhhhh, what should i reward you with, astute visitor...

Maybe a list of my favorite words? (uncomplete

  • laboratory (good mouthfeel)

  • lavatory (okay more stupid than laboratory but has similar nice mouthfeel)

  • micturate and its variants (it sounds much more dignified than "to pee" and much cooler than "to urinate" ; you cannot stop me)

  • villainous (such beautiful mouthfeel,,,)

  • a bunch of words starting with "trans-" (transient, for example) (I can make puns with them)

  • there will be more but um

  • my mind likes to blank on me during listmake

(Un)fair warnings to potential friends

(I'm serious, it's probably a bit of an advantage to know this!)

If need be, please set boundaries!
i tend to kinda... overshare? or just agressively share normally i dunno.
i'll also probably make really dumb (not offensive, mind you, just really infantile lavatorial humor if you let me get to that point) jokes. i mean, what would you expect from the young man who coined the term/pun "micturintuition" as a horrible superpower/skill in which you have the ability to tell how much someone else needs to pee? I MEAN, SERIOUSLY.
also i'll probably throw my writing at you and some of that stuff is pretty personal and probably delves into gender dysphoria themes sometimes so, in any case, just tell me what you aren't okay with and i will try my best to remember and not go full dumb-dumb forget things on you.

also i am now trying to use tone indicators but it's still new to me so please forgive if I don't use 'em


oh boy i have too many villainous aesthetics/archetypes i like, alright?
so here's a list of ones i like/fall under/both
you'll never know which is which!

  • oh gosh i need to redo this list

  • I have too many archetypes i like

  • h e l p

conversation starter ideas if you are looking to interact with me but don't know how

  • villain stuff (schemes, signing up to be a henchperson, etc.)

  • your worst/best pun

  • capturing me but digitally i have no idea how that'd work

  • common interests

  • just tell me you want to be my friend or something

  • get the convo into full swing immediately somehow

  • just go full ham on it

  • or don't

  • it's really up to you

  • some spicy banter

  • a sudden flyting (basically a poem duel)

  • probably other stuff

loose kin-non!
(doubles always welcome)

self-decided/assigned (fun/formerly coping)

  • sebastian debeste (Aai2)

assigned kins (fun)
(also some of them are from media i am clueless on)

  • heinz doofenshmirtz (p&f)

  • tails (sonic the hedgehog)

  • gundham tanaka (danganronpa)

  • kokichi ouma (danganronpa)

  • ibuki mioda (danganronpa)

  • dr. sylvester "sylvie" ashling (epithet erased)

  • megamind (megamind)

  • aoyama yuuga (bnha) (I can't remember if i actually kinned him or was assigned him so he's here)

  • damien helbourne (fantasy life, 3ds)

  • hau (pokemon sm/usum)

  • Kajii Motojirou (bsd)

  • mandark (dexter's lab) (or, was it dexter? idk someone kin assigned me saying they couldn't remember much but I was one of them and I just kinda picked mandark because he also does dark magic or something and he gives me huge trans vibes)

  • Kazumi Mishima (yttd)

  • alice Yabusame (yttd)

  • I think someone once assigned me Victor Frankenstein? But also someone "shipped" me with him once so take this as you will (I refuse to be as bad of a father as him tho lol)

  • E. Gadd (luigi's mansion)

  • Meowth (pokemon [anime?])

  • eridan ampora (homestuck)

  • rose lalonde (also homestuck)

  • madam mim (the sword in the stone)

  • always open to more assignments